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From Failure to Failure


06/24

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5 hours ago, Procopius said:

One of Mrs P's birds died today*, and so all life in our home came to a halt; coupled with the fact that her idiot mother spent all day yammering about the "special bond mothers have with their daughters**", Mrs P is now sad we don't have any girls and obsessing over our paltry two children with their totally wrong genitals. 

 

 

Today hasn't been great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Five to go.

 

** Mrs P once threw an iPhone at her mother's head while her mother was driving because her mother decided the GPS was lying and they weren't really going to Ohio.*** I was there, trapped in a tiny glass and steel prison with these other two demented inmates.

 

*** Mrs P's mother frequently argues with GPS systems. She is always wrong. She also insists on driving if she's in the car, presumably because she has latent homicidal tendencies. She is the second worst driver I know, after my sister who is legally blind in one eye and extremely frightened by parallel parking. While I'm on a roll, she's terrible at washing dishes, as bad as Winston, who's two, and I have to go back and rewash everything she's washed when she "helps".

Mr. P,

This is some of the best real life mother-in-law comedy I have ever seen in any sort of written form. 

I am expecting an episode of Doctor Phil will be following shortly.....I will ask my wife to DVR it.

 

Thanks for sharing this event and of course the modeling is awesome. It's like dinner and a show!

All the Best!

Don

 

 

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7 hours ago, CedB said:

I hope not, otherwise we're both in trouble.

 

PC I always find your threads a great read - 'dry sense of humour' just doesn't cut it... you should write for a living :D

 

While we're counting genitals... ... ... sorry, got distracted, I recommend a strong (manly) stance. Speaking as a man (two, phew!) in a house full of females (including the dog) I'm envious of your testosterone laden environment.

IMHO (and with gross generalisation) men find 'their place' pretty quickly, especially after a few wrestles. Females have a continuous battle confrontation 'we're just discussing things' with no resolution.

 

Stay a male household, save the iPhone*!

 

* Other projectiles are available.

 

I understand. My household contained me, my wife and 3 daughters. The only other male in my house for 15 years was the dog and he was fixed. Luckily, I did (do) have an escape room in the basement.

 

Chris

Edited by dogsbody
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13 hours ago, Rob G said:

 

Was it wrong that I sniggered at that? I imagined a small scoreboard secreted somewhere in Der Grotto, which is used to record sinister Procopian progress on the elimination of 'the problem'.

giphy.gif

 

12 hours ago, Courageous said:

Mr P, it's just as well as you have a 'bolt hole' to escape to. Do you have a lock on the door of your cave...

External lock only. I fully expect to be locked in by a Rebellious Teen someday. As long as they don't burn the house down for a second act, that won't bother me much.

 

12 hours ago, Ex-FAAWAFU said:

It’s an Avian Stash...

Not far off. Mrs P said she'd want another cockatiel after the children moved away, and I told her then it was my turn to be loved, which apparently was the wrong answer.

 

10 hours ago, CedB said:

you should write for a living :D

That was the dream, at one point. I sort of do now, if 280 characters or less counts as "writing".

 

Just now, 06/24 said:

Sorry for lack of updates, general exhaustion and lack of mojo means I have made no progress.

No worries, Jonners, I'm almost caught up!

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On 2/21/2018 at 8:31 PM, Procopius said:

giphy.gif

 

 

Not too easy to organise that kind of demise for your enemies where I come from - whatever other types of snakes there might be in Ireland we don't have the ones of interest to herpetologists.

Edited by JosephLalor
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Apologies to 06/24 and Procopius for the continued thread hi-jack. I'm warming to the serpentine theme.

 

Apparently back in 1970 Charlton Heston put on a production of Anthony and Cleopatra in the West End. Its run was short. The Guardian's review was subbed with the title, 'The biggest asp disaster in  the world.'

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I can imagine Procopius in The Grotto in his best Dr Evil suit, pinky to his lip, muttering meh heh heh as he reports the demise of Mrs P's feathered friend. Will Mrs P be given a ransom demand of twenty new Airfix Phantoms to ensure no harm comes to the rest of her feathered chums...... tune in next week, same place, same time, same channel...... 

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Sorry for the radio silence again, chaps. Last night, I managed to get a little time in the workroom, and attached the engines and glosscoated the Bisley. I here learned something else a bit dodgy with the fit: the interior locating nubs on the collector ring all needed to be sheared off with a sharp knife before they would sit well over the engines. Marvelous, Airfix. It's in danger of becoming a National Champion firm a la British Leyland.

 

39773585804_77cf556866_h.jpg20180224_231928 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

Look at that, comin' right atcha:

 

40483901721_fa87b9710d_h.jpg20180224_231957 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

Unfortunately, last night, Winston -- who has a bad cold and a history of coughing so hard he throws up -- coughed until he had a massive puke at around 2:00 this morning. It made him very sweet and cuddly, and it also turned him into an emergency room visitor, because not a ton of doctors are up around then.

 

39588182735_e614951fb5_h.jpg20180225_025702 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

Each of these visits usually runs in the area of around four hundred bucks (285 quid) a pop, and it takes forever. We were there from 2:30 AM to 4:45 AM (he threw up a tiny bit again once he got there, without coughing, and they had to keep him longer), so we have a lot to look forward to when the bill comes in the mail. Here he is receiving $400 (after insurance) worth of high-end private medical care:

 

39588187075_6aedb78fbe_h.jpg20180225_034750 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

On the plus side, Mrs P and I had a lovely and expensive date before all of this had happened, so we already knew life was better without children and weren't surprised at how truly awful it can get. 

 

On 2/21/2018 at 6:14 PM, Chillidragon said:

Is 5' significant, I wonder?  Mine is also of that approximate height, and I really have trouble remembering any time when I've been happy with her.

 

It could well be. Mrs P is 5'9", and I like her a lot in general.

 

 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, Procopius said:

...around four hundred bucks (285 quid) a pop, and it takes forever.

 

Every time that I read about healthcare costs in the US, I'm glad that I live in Australia. Here, that visit wouldn't have cost you a cent. Admittedly, you'd still have had a long wait, but at least it would've been free. I had 9 days in ICU 12 years ago and it didn't cost me anything- I'd hate think what the cost there would've been.

 

I hope the lad is on the improve and that your budget recovers from the rude shock in due course.

 

And the wee plastic airyplane is looking the dog's too.

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On 2/21/2018 at 23:10, stevehnz said:

With 3 sons, maybe I should feel some sympathy for Mrs Hnz? Nah, she manages to make us all miserable, all 5' of her.  :(

Steve.

Sometimes we think we are alone, it seems apparent, we aren't...

 

Ever tried explaining maps?

 

Their relevance to bus stops?

 

 

Don't!

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3 hours ago, Rob G said:

 

Every time that I read about healthcare costs in the US, I'm glad that I live in Australia. Here, that visit wouldn't have cost you a cent. Admittedly, you'd still have had a long wait, but at least it would've been free. I had 9 days in ICU 12 years ago and it didn't cost me anything- I'd hate think what the cost there would've been.

 

I hope the lad is on the improve and that your budget recovers from the rude shock in due course.

 

And the wee plastic airyplane is looking the dog's too.

 

The same up here. Thank the deities for social healthcare.

 

 

Chris

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Well, two more non-emergency doctor visits later, Winston has (allegedly) gotten a little better. (He was throwing up all night and early morning last night and I had no sleep from 2 AM until a 1.5 hour nap at 4 PM, and then threw up on his way to the check-up at 5:30 PM.) My poor little hero tries manfully to make it to the toilet to throw up in it, pretty impressive since it's a floor down and on the other side of the house, and he's only two. He was afraid he'd throw up in his bed tonight, so I had to put a garbage can by his bed and sing him a reassuring song about it that I made up on the spot (really). He really is a sweet little guy. So no progress at much of anything lately. I need to go to bed now and get some actual sleep. 

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Well all the models are coming along nicely, pity about Winston though, do hope all settles down soon and you can get back to a normal sleep pattern.

 

Like @Rob G I utilise  our Hospital system,  although a lot more than he does, I've been there 3 times in the last 3 months, once in a free ambulance ride, mind you I had one of those and an overnight at Telford back in '07, again all free, so the UK is just as good, fortunately never had to utilise any US health care system yet.

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18 minutes ago, 06/24 said:

Better, but mojoless 

 

Winnie is a trooper

 

Red snow warning here now. I understand the warnings about yellow snow, dinnae eat it, but red snow is a new one on me

What, you've never seen Fargo?

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Glad you're better Jon and I hope the mojo returns, when you're ready. Red warning? DON'T GO OUT. Not because you won't be safe (you're sensible, I know) but because you might get snowed OUT. Snowed IN good, snowed out BAD :D

 

Fargo indeed, or do a remember the snow scene in Kill Bill? The one with Ishii in the garden? Like snow angels, only with unusually large hands, obviously...

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3 hours ago, CedB said:

or do a remember the snow scene in Kill Bill? The one with Ishii in the garden? Like snow angels, only with unusually large hands, obviously...

Do you think about this? Urma Thurman deep in war and Meiko Kaji for the mood:

 

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