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France and Germany team up for next generation fighter


Slater

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The first line of the article provides the clue:

 

"France and Germany agreed to study building together a new fighter jet..."

 

I'm certain the study will occur 😊

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On form to date, it'll go like this:


Dassault will demand design leadership 

 

Germany will say that it requires 400 aircraft so as to get a significant amount of the workshare.

 

Dassault will dig its heels in and say that this is quite unacceptable, since France has greater recent experience of designing fighters than Germany and to give in to the German demands will lead to job losses in France. 

 

The programme will come close to collapse.

 

Someone will then realise that the German contribution will involve Airbus, which is, of course, not just a German concern, and whose involvement will benefit both partners, which will in turn lead to Dassault being told to crack on with it.

 

About five years into the programme, rumours will circulate that Airbus doesn't know what it's doing, and that the cost has gone up.

 

About ten years into the progrramme, rumours will circulate that Airbus builds really nice commercial jets, but that it really doesn't know what it's doing with military aircraft.

 

About twelve years into the programme, a minister from one of the two partners will concede that Airbus had some problems with the A400M, but will point out that DASA (as was) was part of the Typhoon programme and is ideally suited to this project. Cynics will observe that the Typhoon took nearly 25 years to get from project MOU to front line service.

 

About fifteen years into the programme, Carlo Kopp will write an article explaining that the new Franco-German fighter is rubbish and that Australia shouldn't even think about buying anything other than the F-22 to replace the Super Hornet. This will be accompanied by another article on Air Power Australia explaining that the cost of putting the F-22 back into production would be entirely worth it.

 

The Germans will then confess that they actually require no more than 150 aircraft, and Dassault will demand a renegotiation of the workshare. Airbus will disagree. The programme will be delayed a little bit further.

 

India signs up to the project. Dassault trumpets that this proves its fighters are the finest in the world, and that it looks forward to negotiating with the Indian MoD. And then gets Airbus to do this so as to avoid the inevitable blame.

 

Reports of a disagreement over workshare for the avionics emerge. The Germans demand that a German company be involved in a critical part of the project, such as the FCS, something which German engineering delivered very quickly on the Typhoon. Press comments that it was delivered quickly simply because it was then handed over to Ferranti, who did know what they were doing, are dismissed as unhelpful Anglo-Saxon propaganda.

 

The first prototype flies. All seems well. A reporter for Flight International claims that the new aeroplane is better than any fighter that has ever flown, and the internet goes into meltdown.

 

The second prototype flies. 


India announces that HAL will be building all but three of the airframes for the IAF. The Franco-German partnership demurs. India cancels the aircraft on the grounds that the contract award was made as the result of corruption, only for the next government to reinstate it, buying 25% of the originally planned number and reopening the fighter contest. Airbus is blamed for the debacle. Lockheed Martin takes a brochure from the shelf and suggests that it will seek to sell the F-16 Block 250 to the IAF.

 

The first aircraft finally reach the French air force and turn out to be pretty good. The Luftwaffe complains that a piece of masking tape found in the cockpit of one of its first deliveries could cause a fatal accident, and grounds the whole fleet for three months while technicians are given the task of seeing if any more masking tape can be found in places they shouldn't be.  Cynics suggest that this may be an attempt by the German government to delay having to pay for the aeroplane. The Germans deny this.

 

A small war breaks out, and the French send their aircraft to the warzone amid much trumpeting and triumph. The new aeroplane flies several well-publicised combat sorties.  Only later does everyone realise that some rather ancient Rafales released the bombs because the new fighter isn't cleared for any air to ground weapons yet, and the new aircraft were responsible for taking photographs of each other over some dramatic landscape, while a Rafale can just be discerned somewhere in one of the photos. This is dismissed as unhelpful Anglo-Saxon propaganda.

 

In due course, the German government confirms that the concern over the masking tape was misplaced, and the new jet's safety is not compromised by this. However, the investigation into the masking tape has revealed another serious fault which - oddly - doesn't appear to be found on any of the French aeroplanes, leading to another brief grounding (of the French aircraft) and suggestions that the German government is looking to delay paying for the aircraft.  JG71 eventually reaches IOC some 26 years after the start of the programme and 10 years after IOC was envisaged.

 

The first Indian squadron turns up at Ex Cope Thunder 2071, which marks the first occasion upon which the RAF and USAF have the opportunity to see how their new Incom Corporation F-65B Starfighters perform.

 

The Indian media duly reports that their aircraft have a 120-0 kill ratio against the F-65B. The RAF diplomatically suggests that the score might be a teensy bit exaggerated, while the USAF has a serious sense of humour failure and says that the Indians will never be invited to another exercise if they don't stop doing this sort of thing. The Indian defence minister chides the press for misrepresenting the exercise (despite the fact it was his department which fee the press the detail). Commentators suggest that for security reasons, the F-65Bs hadn't been alllowed to switch their cloaking device on, or to use any directed energy weapons, noting that this means that the F-65s didn't, in fact, have any armament options available and were rendered about as threatening as a Goodyear blimp under the exercise ROE. This is dismissed as nothing but a set of excuses by an unlikely combination of a virulently nationalist Indian blogger and the comments page in The Guardian.

 

Aviation and Space Technology Weekly runs an exclusive based upon a leaked email from one of the participants. The world is somewhat alarmed to discover that the email was in fact written by one of the F-65B Starfighters - which is found to have also just set up an Instagram account - rather than by one of the humans involved. Dassault issues a press release claiming that the Franco-German aircraft has been sentient since 2026, long before the Anglo-American aircraft,  but is too shy to have a social media presence. 

 

Approximately 30 years into the type's service, a balanced analysis of the aircraft finally appears in Volume 28 of International Air Power Review (released with apologies from the publisher about the five decade delay between volumes 27 and 28) and it turns out that the aircraft wasn't as good as the brochure claimed, but not as bad as the internet suggested. A bear, seen exiting some woods with a copy of the Times and a roll of Andrex, is heard to observe that, yes, it is true... the Pope is Catholic.

 

 

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Sometimes the "Like" button just seems wholly inadequate.

 

But I think you missed out the bit about the Germans deciding the aircraft is too expensive and delaying the project by 5 years in the search for illusory cost savings before changing their mind and deciding the aircraft is fine as it was. 

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On ‎16‎.‎07‎.‎2017 at 3:51 PM, Seahawk said:

Sometimes the "Like" button just seems wholly inadequate.

 

But I think you missed out the bit about the Germans deciding the aircraft is too expensive and delaying the project by 5 years in the search for illusory cost savings before changing their mind and deciding the aircraft is fine as it was. 

 

Actually, some German Defence Minister would demand simplification to save some Cents, because Antarctica no longer poses a threat. Then, when the development is complete, it turns out that all the breaking shelf ice from Antarctica poses a serious threat, meaning having to reinstate all the original capabilities plus a ciopule more.

 

@ Alex, I think the fin at least of both Tornado and Typhoon was designed at Warton...

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Great story, XV107, I had a good, though somewhat cynical, laugh while reading it. Only twice the original price, Head in the clouds? That would still be reasonable. Try doubling or tripling your estimate. Cheers

Jure

Edited by Jure Miljevic
missing sentence added
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