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Tzulscha

Short Jokes II The Sequel

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sinnerboy    2,004
4 hours ago, Bullbasket said:

Oh, I'd really worry if I got a visit from my mother-in-law........she's been dead for six years!!

 

John.

wouldn't rule it out tho mate.

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GordonD    2,507
15 hours ago, T7 Models said:

 

How did you get into my attic?

 

Oh, I've been living in here for years!

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T7 Models    4,887

I've just been fired from my job at the pet shop after I punched breathing holes into a cardboard box with a screwdriver.

 

Apparently I'm supposed to do that BEFORE I put the rabbit in.

 

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GordonD    2,507
21 hours ago, T7 Models said:

I've just been fired from my job at the pet shop after I punched breathing holes into a cardboard box with a screwdriver.

 

Apparently I'm supposed to do that BEFORE I put the rabbit in.

 

Something similar happened to me. Apparently all the water drained out before the customer got home.

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Fatboydim    2,922

 

elC4UPr.jpg

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sinnerboy    2,004

bit disappointed, but I received a nice email reply today from Screwfix, regretfully advising me that they're not actually a dating agency. 

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T7 Models    4,887

I've been seeing this stunning girl for about six weeks.

 

Then the police showed up, confiscated my binoculars and arrested me.

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T7 Models    4,887

Before I was married I used to drive aimlessly around car parks as I had nobody to point out the empty spaces.

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T7 Models    4,887

As I get older I realise that it's not more medication I need.

 

Just less people.

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T7 Models    4,887

My wife has just told me that if I don't tear myself away from the computer and do something useful she'll hit my head against the keyboard.

 

She's always joking abougvcQUJEKUSRLGM,V#Q;LU-EG.jkbvgrfshtww0-=]p4H[PD ;/CVx? QLJ

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T7 Models    4,887

What do you call a three legged donkey?

 

A wonkey.

 

-

 

What do you call a three legged horse?

 

A Reliant Dobbin.

 

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sinnerboy    2,004

what do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other

.

.

.

Ilene

 

what do you call a Chinese woman with one leg longer than the other

.

.

.

Irene

 

 

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andyf117    656

A woman goes to the doctor about her sex life, complaining that she gets no satisfaction from it.

 

The doctor looks at her notes, then says "I see your husband is in the SAS".

 

"Yes", replies the woman.

 

"But surely," the doctor says, "he must be one of the fittest men in the country, and have great stamina?"

 

"Oh yes", replies the woman, "but he's also trained to get in and out without anyone noticing."

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T7 Models    4,887

What goes 'Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop -BANG!!- clipety clop clipety clop clipety clop clipety clop clipety clop clipety clop'?

 

 

 

 

 


Amish drive by shooting

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Kiwidave4    1,124

What goes black, white, thump, black, white, thump......

 

A nun falling down stairs.

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Kiwidave4    1,124

Whats the difference between a soldier and a fireman?

 

You cant dip a fireman into your egg.

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pigsty    1,302

New figures show that Oregon has the highest rates of both clinical depression and marital infidelity.  That's a sad state of affairs.

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Kiwidave4    1,124

A biologist and a physicist had a relationship.

 

It did not work out...there was no chemistry.

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