Cadman

I'm not surprised to be honest, as most of the text is deliberately written to emulate British schoolboy humour. While many of the groan-inducing puns are pretty easy to spot, I think very few of the pop-culture references jump out on the reader at first glance. One of the not-so-difficult parts of the text to "get" is this example; (Quote) Tatiana Svetlana Pavlovich: Alluring granddaughter of Aristocratic White Russian Émigrés who narrowly evaded the evil clutches of Felix Dzerzhinsky’s feared CHEKA secret police by fleeing across the frozen Amur River that separates Manchuria from the Siberian Far East. (Unquote) That comes straight out of Chapter 8 in Harriet Beecher Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin", with her fictitious account of the escape of real-life runaway slave Eliza Harris across the frozen ice-floes of the Ohio River. https://www.shmoop.com/study-guides/literature/uncle-toms-cabin/eliza-harris This event was also adapted toward the end of George MacDonald Fraser's novel "Flash for Freedom". https://www.amazon.co.uk/Flash-Freedom-Flashman-Papers-Book-ebook/dp/B002RI9126/ref=sr_1_1?crid=OTPCY4NC2OU3&keywords=flash+for+freedom+KINDLE+EDITION&qid=1699262165&sprefix=flash+for+freedom+kindle+edition%2Caps%2C251&sr=8-1 Another nod to "Uncle Tom's Cabin" can be seen here; (Quote) Simon Lacroix Legree: Notorious ex-cotton industry entrepreneur from Louisiana. Now appointed the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, (UNHCR-Korea), and busy skimming off as much illicit profit as he can, while he can. (Unquote) That one also includes an obvious wee dig at the United Nations which is probably rather unfair on the aims of the organization, certainly during the early-1950's, but perhaps not quite so unfair on the machinations of the Security Council since the 1980's - but that's beginning to touch on politics, so I decided I'd better leave that particular subject alone. However, there's plenty more innocent references to various Books, Movies and TV Series scattered throughout the text. Really bored readers can have a bit of fun seeing if they can spot them all. ... Cheers

Best I can do right now for a close-up of Ms George ... Fig. 56

Most fitting indeed Steve - and well said. However, best to leave it at that as this is probably not the place for such sentiments to be expressed. Meanwhile, and especially as my initial reaction has now dulled down to a simmering sense of utter horror and outrage, I'll be watching those lads and lasses deal with the situation in a suitable manner. Apologies to the mods for touching on this ... and it's my last word on the subject.

Given recent world events I had to think long and hard before posting this thread in its final form, especially with its various themes and somewhat jocular tone. Then again, with Remembrance Sunday coming up and considering the heroic exploits down the years of those commemorated at Spean Bridge, (and similar units of course), the decision to go ahead and highlight the contribution of 41 Commando, as well as the Glorious Glosters AND all our other Service Personnel to ensure we continue to enjoy the freedoms we have today, really wasn't all that difficult after all. Despite the controversy over who originally expressed it, the oft-quoted, “We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm”, is as true now as it ever was.

Well, it's two months of my life I'll never get back, (end of August to end of October) ... ... Worth it though - and I've now got quite a few bits of left-over stuff that'll go into my spares box for use on future projects. As for the lady in Fig 23, she's a movie extra called Susan George who's actually in the video I'm watching at the moment ... the 1988 2-part mini-series of "Jack the Ripper" with Michael Caine as Inspector Frederick Abberline. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095388/?ref_=tt_urv Of course, Ms George went onto further fame after appearing in Mash Dio #2 during the Korean War, most notably her iconic role alongside the winsome Dustin Hoffman in "Straw Dogs". The recipe for my creations is simple enough. All that's required is a fevered imagination and a wicked sense of humour. Place both in a mixing bowl and stir with a suitable wooden spoon for as long as it takes, season with some Pop Culture then bake for a couple of hours - and enjoy the results. Cheers Oh, PS. Next up will most likely be a complete departure from my more recent stuff and feature two or three 75mm Japanese Geisha's that have been in my collection for a few years now and are crying out to be placed in a suitable setting. I'll need permission from my financial controller before I can order up the cherry-blossom trees though. This may take a while after the amount of loot I spent on these two latest dioramas. Like, hmm, December ... probably ...

Corporal Julie sends her apologies for the present lack of decent cuisine available at the NAAFI van. Unfortunately, the quality of the spam-fritters has gone into a sad decline ever since she started meeting Terence Stamp every Friday night at Waterloo Railway Station. Well, so Ray Davis claimed in the Kinks 1967 ditty, "Waterloo Sunset". ... “As soon as I sang ‘Terry and Julie’,” Davies remembers, “it seemed that they didn’t need description.” Taken from this link ... https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/the-kinks-ray-davies-waterloo-sunset-story-behind-the-song/

CONTINUED Fig. 51 As the two Senior Officers and the, (by now), dazed and confused Colonel Hogg, hurry over to the checkpoint entrance to keep their heads down and they consider the flood of civilian refugees making their way south, the topic of conversation drifts off on yet another random tangent. Attempting to engage with the American officer, Farquhar-Urquhart innocently asks, “Do you think Richard Nixon will win the presidential race next year, then J.D.? After all, his slogan ‘You Can Trust Dick In DC’ is rather catchy and, err, most likely somewhat truthful.” Fig. 52 “Oh, don’t be so naive Roy,” interrupts B-B before ‘Boss’ Hogg can get a word in. “No-one’s stupid enough to ever imagine Tricky Dicky Nixon being elected as Leader of the Free World.” “The American public will always vote gung-ho war-heroes into the White House. Which also rules out the only other hopeful to break cover so far.” “Why, even Winston told the King that inept puppet of the Military Industrial Complex was entirely to blame for the Market Garden debacle when he over-ruled my plan for a first-day coup de main on the bridge and then, incredibly, ordered our chaps be dropped miles away from Arnhem itself. I suppose he was simply far too jealous of Monty’s charm and diplomacy skills.” “So, no, Eisenhower will never be elected POTUS either.” “As for genuine war-heroes; well Jimmy Stewart is still too busy trying to shoot Lee Marvin to enter politics at this point in his career and while Joe Kennedy’s boy, John Fitzgerald, fits the bill he’s still a tad too young for the job.” “However, answer me this Roy; who is it just happens to be sitting on the throne in Hirohito’s Tokyo palace right now – and busy fine-tuning his plot to sack Harry Truman?” “I say the sooner he gives that Kansas Jayhawker his marching orders, then the sooner the ‘American God Emperor’ can move his kitbag and footlocker into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, what?” Fig. 53 “Umm, aah, quite so Freddie, that would be most efficacious indeed,” mumbles the completely nonplussed Farquhar-Urquhart, (while thinking to himself that Truman's actually from Missouri), and who’s now intently examining the utterly fascinating patterns of mud on the toes of his boots, while even the normally vociferous ‘Boss’ Hogg is lost for words, and appears to be choking on his giant Havana Cigar. Recommended Movies and Books The Korean War in movies includes these suggested examples. All can be looked up on the IMDb website and are available on DVD/BR from Amazon, although most of them are Cold War propaganda pieces. MASH (1970) Movie and the TV Show (1972 – 1983). Both are excellent although they’re really about American involvement in Vietnam. Retreat, Hell! (1952) Bit of a cringe-inducing experience these days I suppose, but does feature a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance by a small unit of Royal Marines from 41 Commando. Target Zero (1955) Perhaps just a tad too many cringe moments as well, but does have an interesting screenplay and at least Charles Bronson was cast in a realistic role alongside Richard Conte’s OTT screen character. A 1/35 scale diorama based on scenes from this film is being considered as a future project at Cadman Dining Table Production Studios, Inc. MacArthur (1977) Although Dugout Doug’s involvement with Korea is only depicted in the last half-hour or so, the movie does cover the landings at Inchon and MacArthur’s sacking by Truman. Features an outstanding lead role performance from Gregory Peck that was nominated for the 1978 Golden Globe Best Actor award. A Hill in Korea (1956) An absolute classic. Arguably the best of the early films covering the Korean War, and made long before the release of more modern cinema efforts – plus it focusses entirely on the adventures of an isolated British patrol, (huzzah). Michael Caine's first movie appearance as well. Rather fitting too, as he was a Korean War veteran. The Bridges at Toko-Ri (1954) A surprisingly gritty movie for its time, possibly as a result of the novel and screenplay being written by James A. Mitchener, although I could wish he’d given the future Princess Grace of Monaco a bit more to do in the Tokyo scenes. Takes a very close second place in my personal list of favourite Korean War movies. The Korean War is relatively well covered in books and four excellent examples are suggested below. All are available from Amazon:- Scorched Earth, Black Snow: ‘The First Year of the Korean War’ by Andrew Salmon, and; To the Last Round: ‘The Epic British Stand on the Imjin River, Korea 1951’ by the same author, are both utterly enthralling. The Korean War: ‘An Epic Conflict 1950-1953’ by Max Hastings is also brilliantly written and provides a good overview of the entire conflict. The Frozen Hours: ‘A Novel of the Korean War’ by Jeff Shaara is the best historical fiction account of The Frozen Chosin that I’ve read. Hmm, at least … so far. Anyone who is unfamiliar with the Korean War and would like to learn more than I can cover here, might want to hit this link. https://www.history.com/topics/asian-history/korean-war Fig. 54 END

CONTINUED “So, getting back to strictly military matters, one has difficulty understanding quite how the Japs managed to give our American colleagues such a beastly black-eye just before Christmas, what?” Fig. 42 “I even overheard one of our Commando chaps mention that the Chosin Reservoir was so bitterly cold that it was just like ‘Tora, Tora, Tora’ up there." "Well I must say, it was one of the few times I’ve ever been at a loss for a witty riposte. Thought the fellow had a terrific stutter, what? But Roy here explained it was just another plucky working-class quip.” “Seems the chap simply meant that there was ‘A Nasty Nip In The Air’. Haw-haw.” “Still, tally-ho and all that rot. We’ll soon inspire the troops to give old Tojo a jolly good thrashing, what?” Fig. 43 (Sigh). “We’re not fighting the Japanese any more Saah,” informs Williams with a weary upward glance, “We is all chums with them now and it’s the North Koreans and Chinese we’re up against this time.” “Really? North Koreans and Chinese? How extraordinary. But, I really can’t think of the slightest reason why the North Koreans would be so upset with us? Won’t the King allow them to join the Commonwealth, or something? And now that I think about it, I don’t suppose we’d want China either.” “Oh … wait though … I seem to recall that the Chinese are on our team, aren’t they?” “They was Saah, but that was Generalissimo ‘Sign My Cheque’ and his bold lads, and they’ve all hopped it to Formosa with the free loot Vinegar Joe Stillwell was throwing at them. The mob we’re fighting now are fanatical communist Chinese, and they’re different.” “Well bless me upside-down Sergeant-Major, but they’ll just be a few assorted dhobi-wallahs, atrocious cooks and barbarous savages from the back of beyond, I shouldn’t wonder. And quite apart from that, our very own barbarous savages from the back of beyond are all fanatical communists as well, aren’t they? After all, that’s why Lord Paisley, calls Glasgow … Red Clydeside.” “Oh well, but that’s enough chatting for now Sergeant-Major. While I’m not convinced you have any military authority over those GI’s, please be so kind as to shake up our own worthless shirkers swarming around Nurse Ratched and Corporal Julie – and have the blighters apprehend that Nun as well.” Fig. 44 “The Nun Saah? Blimey, but the lads told me that she’s Sister Gladys, the proprietor from The Inn of the Sixth Rapturous Joy.” “I don’t care if you were told she’s Mother-Superior Deborah from The Inn of the Sixth Black Narcissus, Sergeant-Major. How many Nuns do you see reading this month’s copy of Life Magazine, what? Must’ve got it from that troublemaking old trout, the Camberwell woman.” “She doesn’t fool me though. No, no, no, she’s obviously a communist East-German fifth-column parachutist and I’d venture her mum was probably Rosa Luxemburg, the notorious rabble-rousing Marxist who was stirring up so much mischief in Berlin back in 1919.” “Hmm, well now you come to mention it, that is definitely one odd-looking Nun and no mistake, Saah. Leave her to me – and that bunch of lazy slackers as well. It’ll be my pleasure to give them something useful to do.” And manfully wielding his pace-stick, BSM Williams can now get on with his real job at long last. “Right then lovely boys, SHUT UP and stand to attention.” “Now, I wants you all to smarten up for the nice General-gentleman and start whitewashing those rocks over there with your toothbrushes.” “Move yerselves, you horrible excuse for soldiers.” “On the double, left right, left right, left right.” “Gunner Sugden you see that Nun what’s obviously a cunningly disguised communist East-German fifth-column parachutist? Well throw her into the cooler – and don’t you take no lip from her neither.” “Left right, left right, left right.” Fig. 45 “What you waiting for Gunner Sugden? Get a move on – juldi juldi.” “What’s that? You can’t see no Nun cos the punkah-wallah’s pet hound has broke your glasses?” Fig. 46 Fig. 47 While BSM Williams is enjoying his opportunity to keep British squaddies on their toes, General B-B now decides to take a closer look at the incoming Royal Marine patrol … and … “Oh, My Sainted Maiden Aunt, it can’t be? Surely not? Here use my binoculars Roy and check that Commando patrol just this side of Henry Blake’s sawbones facility.” Fig. 48 “Isn’t the chap standing beside that fat RAF bloke the spitting image of Colonel Vandervoort who broke his ankle at Sainte-Mère-Église with the 505th PIR on D-Day? In fact, I do believe that really is old Wayne Vandervoort! I must say, even back in 1944 I thought him far too old to be jumping out of aeroplanes and playing silly beggars – but by Jove, doesn’t it look like Old Father Time is snapping at his heels?” “You know Freddie, I think you’re right. My goodness, he must be into his sixties by now. What’s he doing leading a patrol at his age? Looks like they’ve seen some action as well. Must’ve been on a secret mission to kidnap a North Korean General … or something.” Fig. 49 “Oh, and that’s not an RAF chap. I’ve been asking the troops about him and he’s a Frenchie Flight-Sergeant attached to the Fleet Air Arm as a FOO, and using his radio skills to call our Seafire’s onto suitable ground-attack targets. I believe he ran a café which was used by the Resistance during the recent Great Unpleasantness. Goes by the name of René by all accounts.” Fig. 50 “Who cares Roy, listen very carefully – I will say this only once; we need to find some dead ground so we can lie low. If that old fool Wayne keels over with a heart attack, then at least he’s in the right place for it – and we can safely claim we never even knew he was here.” “Plausible deniability – that’s the name of the game, old boy.” TO BE CONTINUED

CONTINUED Fig. 30 Fig. 31 “Saah,” interrupts BSM Williams, “I think the Colonel Boss means they’re two of those windy Native-Americans what bamboozles any enemy spy’s snooping around on our radio networks and has bodyguards what ensure they never falls into enemy hands. Well … not alive anyways.” “I got the story from that conspiracy-gentleman Mr Max while we was stuck in the queue at the NAAFI van last night. He says the the only ones what can understand their heathen gibberish is members of their own tribe, so they’re a bit like human enigma machines and reports direct to the brass back at a top-secret bunker what’s located in Arlington County, Virginia.” “Gunner La-De-Dah Graham was lurking around the tea urn while me and Mr Max was waiting for that young Corporal Julie lass to find a bottle of HP sauce for our deep-fried spam-fritter sandwiches, and he said it serves much the same function as Horse Guards Barracks what’s in the City of Westminster, only it looks like a pentagon – well, I suppose he meant it looks like a pentagon if you is enjoying the view of Virginia from a DC3 Dakota what’s got lost flying over The Hump.” “Gunner Graham couldn’t resist showing off his university education again and, umm, if I recalls rightly, he informed that the pentagon is defined as a geometric shape derived from a ancient Greek word of antiquity what describes a polygon with five equal sides, Saah.” “Aah, yes, thank you Sergeant-Major. Most illuminating. But please remind Colonel Hogg that I am not his hot-dang good-buddy, and as I’ve informed several times, I am not at liberty to arrange an appointment for him to have tea at the palace with Princess Elizabeth.” “Oh, and before I forget, I’m perfectly aware of what a pentagon looks like because whenever Mrs B-B’s chum Mr Crowley pops down to Cornwall, she and her circle from the local Women’s Institute strike-up some wailing chant and start dancing around the one she carved into the floor of our drawing room.” “Begging your pardon Saah, but if Aleister Crowley has been visiting Mrs B-B at The Big House then I do believes it might well be more like a ‘pentagram’ what your good lady went and scratched into the drawing room floor.” “Well, I’m sure you’re right Sergeant-Major. After all, geometry wasn’t the most exciting subject on the curriculum at Eton.” “But getting back to that confounded wretch Crowley, it was him who encouraged Mrs B-B to write her most famous story, don’t you know?” Fig. 32 “It recounts the tribulations of some tragic gel, although she does somewhat resemble that other tragic gel, Catherine Earnshaw, whom one of the Brontë sisters described in ‘Wobbling Heights’, or whatever she called her own ghastly tale of lover’s remorse. Ladies from the middle classes do seem to devour that sort of gothic tosh. Must be because they never learned to play Polo.” “Mind you, I’ve heard Ealing Studios want to re-film it as a comedy with Bing and Bob, and call it ‘Road to Manderley’, but they’re both tied up performing USO shows down in Pusan with Jimmy Durante and Miss Marilyn Monroe, and isn’t she a real smasher, although the British forces sweetheart will always be Vera of course.” Fig. 33 “Umm, where was I? Oh yes; I’m told one’s favourite thespians, George Formby and Norman Wisdom are attending auditions to determine who’s to be cast as the sinister cad Mr de Winter, and once that’s settled then filming will begin on the Cornwall coast this Autumn. Not that it matters, because it’ll never be as good as Hitchcock’s 1940 masterpiece with dear Larry and that insipid Fontaine woman.” “However, I do wonder if Miss Munroe might be persuaded to play the tragic gel who dreams of returning to Manderley House after Mrs Danvers burns the place to the ground? Would certainly boost my percentage share of Mrs B-B’s royalties if she does, what? Haw-haw.” “Anyway, see here now Sergeant-Major, I’ve noted that Attlee’s National Service Royal Marine chaps appear to be wearing scruffy second-hand Red-Devil smocks and even scruffier American uniforms as well. Must have sourced them from a local branch of the Army & Navy Surplus Stores. What’s wrong with the second-hand WW2 battledress the King gave them when they were called-up? It’s most irregular you know.” “You’re absolutely right Saah. Never before has I seen such a blatant display of scruffery. I’ll attend to it right away Saah.” Fig. 34 Fig. 35 “Please do so Sergeant-Major and while you’re at it, find out who that American chap might be. The one in the perimeter strongpoint with young Dick Champion and Miss Tatiana, and who seems to be channeling some sort of Patton fantasy, what? Haw-haw.” Fig. 36 “Better gang gey canny Freddie,” interrupts Farquhar-Urquhart, his Scottish accent more pronounced now as his unease increases. “Yon dangerous chiel is General Matthew B. Ridgway who commanded the 82nd Airborne in Sicily. He’s the most capable senior officer the Americans have on the ground in Korea and widely tipped to take over as Chief of the Combined Staff after Marshall retires.” Fig. 37 “My goodness, what a drama-queen you’ve become since that rather embarrassing episode in your Dutch attic Roy.” “But just a minute, look over there – next to the queue for the Seoul omnibus. What on earth are Fleming and that dreadful St-Mirren woman doing with those two chaps? You don’t suppose they intend to shoot the poor beggars just for trying to sit beside those young ladies, do you?” Fig. 38 “Begging your pardon Saah, but the lads at the NAAFI van were telling me those three stuck-up bints is something insufferable snooty, and is refusing to share the bus-stop bench with anyone.” Fig. 39 “The lads also said that the St-Mirren lady is so incoherently violent they calls her 'Bambo', and that Commander Fleming chap has a license to kill.” “Apparently they suspects the two young gentlemen is saboteurs. So, they’re to be subjected to a clever new interrogation technique which calls for the victim to be exposed to rock & roll music on a continuous loop at maximum volume. But seeing as the spooks hasn’t found any 45rpm records by Little Richard, or even by Cliff Richard (thank heaven), then they’ve roped in Piper Findlater to help out.” “After half-an-hour of ‘The Old Rugged Cross’, ‘The Wild Mountain Thyme’ and especially Mr McCartney’s ‘Mull of Kintyre’, they reckons the suspects will confess to anything, just to make it stop.” “Well, wouldn’t anyone, Saah?” Fig. 40 Fig. 41 “By Jove, that sounds like a jolly good show Sergeant-Major, but I think it best we keep well clear of anything that reeks of Intelligence, what?” TO BE CONTINUED

CONTINUED CARRY-ON UP THE IMJIN General B-B and his entourage are paying a morale-boosting visit to ‘The 4077 MASH Unit and Refugee Checkpoint’ on the main road to Seoul, which is guarded by a mixed bag of tough American Paratroopers and Royal Marine Commandos, plus a few other odds & bods from 27 Brigade. Almost immediately side-tracked, he’s decided to audit the petty-cash records of Henry Blake’s MASH unit. Fig. 20 “Well, I don’t know about you Roy, but I can’t make head nor tail of the dashed financial accounts in these books. Where’s Peter Carrington? He wrote that field manual, ‘Creative Accountancy for Dummies’, and can do this kind of inventive nonsense in his sleep.” “Begging your pardon Saah,“ explains BSM Williams, “but the lads in the queue at the NAAFI van were saying that Major, the Lord Carrington and his troop of Centurion tanks is busy taking a tea break in the middle of some Paddy’s field a bit further up the road toward the Imjin River.” “Confound his constant brew-up’s. I’ll have him blackballed from the Empire Club in Piccadilly yet, just see if I don’t. Better fetch that idiot Hogg then Sergeant-Major. He’s a complete and utter amoebae but ought to be used to cooking the books. Fig. 21 You’ll probably find him strutting around over at the main MASH facility chewing out Blake’s rather strange office boy Corporal O’Reilly, or the even stranger Corporal Klinger. Or perhaps having a tête-à-tête with the latest pond-life foisted upon us by the United Nations, that oily Legree scoundrel.” Fig. 22 Fig. 23 Fig. 24 “And this excruciating toothache isn’t helping matters either … and … and … oh my goodness … what on earth are those frightful looking creatures over there by the perimeter fence Roy?” Fig. 25 “Well Freddie, those are examples of a newly discovered species that’s been found infesting UK sink-estate ghettos. By all accounts the flight taking them on a sun & sangria package holiday at the Costa-del-Sol took a wrong turn over the channel and they ended up landing in this utterly bleak war-zone. Still though, they ought to feel perfectly at home here. After all – they’re from Slough.” “Hailed as a major paleontology breakthrough, it’s been claimed they’re the fabled missing-link between our Cro-Magnon ancestors and the Neanderthal’s. Research biologists have even created a name for them; ‘communi mediocris giganteum-chav’. Or in non-scientific terms, err, the common underclass land-whale.” “How fascinating Roy. In the meantime, Sergeant-Major Williams – kindly have the troops load them onto the back of the next tank transporter convoy down to Seoul before they ruin the last case of Dom Perignon from the officer’s mess with those disgusting cans of mountain dew and coca-cola. And you better use the largest crane you can find.” (Twenty minutes later … ) “Aah, there you are J.D. old boy. How awfully nice of you offering to help sort out Blake’s atrocious paperwork." "Oh, I say, isn’t that some of your chaps chatting with Nurse Ratched and the NAAFI gel Corporal Julie over there beside the rabies clinic? They’re not those devious new wireless operator types I’ve been hearing about, are they?” Fig. 26 Fig. 27 Fig. 28 “Yes-Sireee y'all, that’s a big 10-4 buddy. Them there good ol’ boys are gen-u-aahn Okie’s from Muskogee; Charlie Ten Bears an’ Aeneus Wigwam of the 1st U.S. Windy Talkers. They’re the guys with the feathers in their helmets. The other two chuckle-heads are maah no-account step-nephew Ned ‘Lucky’ Pepper-Hogg an’ maah main-man Rosco ‘P’ Coltrane, who ain’t got no more sense than a cooter a-roostin’ on a pole-cat’s tail.” “They’re the tip of the spear, so aah done assigned ‘em to the 187th PIR death-wish glider platoon. Shoot, they’ll do jest mighty-faahn there. Y’all be sure’n have a nice day now, y’hear.” Fig. 29 TO BE CONTINUED

CONTINUED MASH DIO #1 and MASH DIO #2 Please Note: These are fantasy dioramas that are set in an alternate reality and thus not intended to be taken too seriously. Most characters featured in the accompanying passages are fictional, although some have familiar names taken from books, film and TV. Several interesting real-life individuals are also dropped into the text and can be found on-line if the reader is so inclined. Best advice? Just go with the flow. CHARACTERS The four main characters are; Lieutenant-General Frederick ‘Boy’ Browning-Bogarde, (or B-B). Commander of the British and Commonwealth Brigades and expert at dodging all responsibility. Any similarity to a certain Major Gowen from Fawlty Towers is entirely intentional. Also contributing to the general mayhem are; Airborne Assault Strategist Major-General Roy Farquhar-Urquhart, plus veteran of service in India and Burma, Battery Sergeant-Major Kenneth Williams of the Royal Artillery. Not given much dialog due to an inherent inability to articulate in standard English, is Colonel Jefferson Davis ‘Boss’ Hogg of the 187th Paratroop Infantry Regiment. Hailing from the Deep South he’s the very personification of greed, and as the token American/British liaison officer exploits his position to launch nefarious financial scams, which usually crash and burn. Fig. 10 Additional personalities include; Colonel Henry Blake: Commanding Officer of the 4077 MASH. Corporal Walter O’Reilly: Blake’s Office Boy. Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: Female impersonator. Major Margaret ‘Hot Lips’ Houlihan: Head-honcho nurse and 2IC of the 4077. Relishes opportunities to interfere with the established command structure whenever Blake goofs off fishing, goofs off golfing, or goofs off to Tokyo on R&R. Fig. 11 Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce and 'Trapper John' McIntyre: Fig. 12 Lieutenant Mildred Ratched: Demure and kindly trainee nurse. Corporal Julie Christie: Chef de Cuisine/NAAFI Waitress. Ms Victoria Camberwell: The world-famous war correspondent and rabid feminist. She’s getting on a bit now, but can still type out an exciting report for her editor back at the New York Times. Maxwell Hastings: Journalist and conspiracy theory expert. Co-author along with close friend and former BBC colleague David Icke, of the sensational new exposé, ‘Lizard People and the Royal Family’. Fig. 13 A confidential source called Janet MacPherson; former housekeeper at the surgery of popular pre-NHS Doctors Cameron and Finlay in the throbbing Scottish metropolis of Tannochbrae … Fig. 14 … who now lives in quiet retirement in the (usually) sleepy village of Ballater close to the King’s picturesque holiday home at Balmoral Castle … last night categorically refuted the book’s claims that certain members of the royal family are aliens from the planet Draco that are cunningly disguised as Mountbatten-Windsor’s. The feisty 97-year-old retired home-help also issued a verbal warning to Maxwell and Icke of the likely consequences should they decide to take the bus from Aberdeen up scenic Royal Deeside and then dare pay her a visit in the snug lounge of ‘The Ghillie’s Dram’ – Ballater’s trendy high street nightclub. Fig. 15 Simon Lacroix Legree: Notorious ex-cotton industry entrepreneur from Louisiana. Now appointed the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, (UNHCR-Korea), and busy skimming off as much illicit profit as he can, while he can. Fig. 16 Tatiana Svetlana Pavlovich: Alluring granddaughter of Aristocratic White Russian Émigrés who narrowly evaded the evil clutches of Felix Dzerzhinsky’s feared CHEKA secret police by fleeing across the frozen Amur River that separates Manchuria from the Siberian Far East. Considered to be a consummate expert in tank warfare tactics, Tatiana gained extensive experience as a teenager when she was given command of hard-hitting elements of Chiang Kai-shek’s formidable Kuomintang heavy-armour forces during the 2nd Sino-Japanese War. Now serving with the UN as a civilian translator, it’s widely-suspected that her anti-communist activities have been duly noted by agents of SMERSH and her name entered on their extensive list of ‘Counter-Revolutionary Subversives’, which is a top-secret document. Probably. Miss Pavlovich is working undercover with Lt Helena Saint-Mirren, George Cross & Bar, of the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry. Served with remarkable ability during 1943-1945 while reporting directly to Sir Fitzroy Maclean as London’s SOE agent with portfolio for the coordination of Marshall Tito’s diverse and mutually-loathing Yugoslav partisan bands. A ruthless demolition specialist, she harbours a corrosive animosity toward the Parliamentary Labour Party after they ousted her biological father from power at the General Election of 1945, and is therefore considered unstable by the British security services these days, and may even be planning to become a modern-day Guido Fawkesette. For the time-being she’s gainfully employed by S. Korean despot Syngman Rhee, and kept busy rooting out agent-provocateurs surreptitiously planted in the south by N. Korean despot Kim Il-Sung. Royal Navy intelligence officer, Lt-Commander Fleming of MI6, has been detailed to keep tabs on St-Mirren. A duty that may come with fringe benefits. Fig. 17 Impatiently waiting for the bus down to Seoul with supremely entitled displeasure and being pretty vocal about it … The Soong Sisters: Fig. 18 Fig. 19 Beyond any shadow of doubt quite the most remarkable and famous siblings of the 20th Century, who helped shape the future and influence the politics of modern China, and stamped their indelible mark on world history. Soong Ai-ling who married H.H. K’ung. Banker, Businessman and Richest Man in Asia during the 1930’s and 1940’s. Served as Finance Minister of Nationalist China during WW2. Soong Qing-ling who married Sun Yat-sen. 1st President of the Republic of China and respectfully remembered by all Chinese as Father of the New China. Soong Mei-ling who married Chiang Kai-shek, Leader of Nationalist China in WW2. After being chosen by Time Magazine in 1937 as ‘Man & Woman of the Year’, Madame Chiang subsequently became the best known of the three sisters in the USA due to her electrifying speeches in both the House of Representatives and the Senate during 1943. How they’ve managed to end up sitting at a filthy, smelly, dust-blown Korean bus-stop, while forced to endure disrespectful and faintly embarrassing ribaldry from the licentious soldiery is a complete mystery. And they’re obviously not too delighted about it either. TO BE CONTINUED

Fig. 01 Introduction This very brief summary will primarily focus on the 100,000 or so British personnel from across the Commonwealth who served with the United Nations during the Korean War, 1950–1953, and the medical facilities provided by the relatively new concept of MASH units. The poorly equipped Republic of Korea (RKO) defences had crumbled in the face of initial invasion from the North and the United States was quick to send forces to support South Korea followed by further contributions from 17 other countries, including combat troops from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Canada, France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Greece, Turkey, Ethiopia, India, Thailand, the Philippines, and Colombia. Reacting to UN Security Council resolutions, British Prime Minister Clement Attlee sent significant military aid in the form of 27 and 29 Infantry Brigades, which included the 41 (Independent) Royal Marine Commando unit who carried out numerous SF operations behind North Korean lines, and the Centurion MBT’s of the 8th Royal Irish Hussars. Fig. 02 When the Chinese People’s Volunteer Army (CPVA) poured across the Yalu River toward the end of 1950, 27 Brigade and 41 Commando provided effective support for the 1st U.S. Marine Division throughout the UN withdrawal from the Chosin Reservoir. Fig. 03 During the subsequent Chinese Spring Offensive of 1951, a contingent from 29 Brigade, the 1st Battalion of the Gloucestershire Regiment, was wiped out at the Battle of Imjin River. Around 650 ‘Glosters’ had been deployed alongside smaller UN forces to defend against attacks by what turned out to be overwhelming numbers of enemy troops. While their actions helped fend off the Chinese advance, 622 of them were killed, wounded, or taken prisoner during the battle, which is acknowledged as one of the most iconic last-stands in British military history. Fig. 04 Equipment The two Brigades were issued with the familiar WW2 kit, although members of 41 Commando, being Special Forces and usually operating alongside American troops, were supplied with U.S. uniforms and weapons. Fig. 05 In addition, the dependable water-cooled Vickers machine-gun was still being used in the sustained fire role, while at platoon and even section level, units were issued with additional Bren Guns for increased firepower against mass human wave attacks. Fig. 06 Contemporary photographs and verbal accounts confirm the troops from both British Brigades chose to wear an eclectic mix of British battledress and American-supplied military attire, including various tunics and parkas, diverse types of coats and woollen sweaters, WW1/WW2-style sleeveless leather jerkins and the popular windproof Denison smock. Headwear was a bewildering variety of Mk2 & Mk3 steel helmets, berets, jungle hats, cap comforters, ushanka-style fur hats, woollen beanie’s and balaclavas. Of course, even in the field the Australians would usually opt for their traditional wide-brimmed slouch hats, while Scottish troops typically wore their distinctive tam-o’-shanter bonnets. Fig. 07 Fig. 08 Medical Facilities First established in August 1945, the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH) was a U.S. Army medical unit serving as a fully functional hospital in combat areas, and was intended to bring emergency lifesaving surgery closer to critically wounded casualties. When the Korean War broke out there were no MASH units deployed in Asia. By the end of 1950, there were four of them operating in Korea supporting seven U.S. divisions and attached UN troops. Locating these units close to the battlefield ensured early treatment, plus quick evacuation of the more seriously wounded by helicopter, helping to lower the fatality rate. That rate had been 4.5% of wounded casualties during WW2. By the end of the Korean War, there were six U.S., two South Korean, and one Norwegian MASH units treating UN casualties, resulting in the fatality rate falling to 2.5%. Fig. 09 TO BE CONTINUED

Finished and placed on display in one of the units in my hobby room. Will post in the RFI section over the next day or two, once I've gone through the dozens of photos I took today. Cheers

UPDATE 24-Oct-2023 All diorama supplies and accessories have now been delivered apart from the final three resin figures which ought to turn up tomorrow and should only take a day or two to assemble & paint. Lots of progress made on both diorama bases today. MORNING 24-Oct-2023 AFTERNOON 24-Oct-2023 I'm leaving both bases alone for now while all that glue and static grass dries out overnight. I'll tidy up the edges tomorrow, then make a start on fixing all the figures in place. Shall spend the rest of today finishing off the additional diorama accessories; ammo boxes, oil drums, tarp-covered supplies, old tyres, etc. Looks like I ought to be able to do an RFI photoshoot fairly soon, but need to work out what I'm going to do for a backdrop first ... Cheers the Noo

Yeah ... BSM Kenneth Williams, "Infamy, infamy ... etc." He'll be a lot more like a certain other BSM Williams in this one though ... Just about all my 1/35 satire stuff is crammed full of pop culture references taken from books, film and TV, plus groan-inducing puns and outrageous statements made by the fictional characters that are featured. Good idea on the Nun, but her role has already been decided - and there's no room to add a cart going through the checkpoint anyway ... Funny you mention scratch building though as I just finished making a rusty old PA speaker system for the MASH unit yesterday using a few unlikely bits & pieces. It looks awful TBH, but I reckon it'll work fine in the overall scheme of things ... Just awaiting delivery of additional diorama supplies, plus the final three resin figures I want to add to the mix - and then I'll get this one finished probably sometime toward the end of next week It's definitely been a fun ride so far. Cheers